where am i from again
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
