Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
