what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
