If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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