I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
