Can i not drive my cunt home
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
NoShamevember. You game?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
whose parrot is this?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
