Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
