she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
