Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
