Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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