Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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