Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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