I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
