hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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