It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
