Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
