I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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