I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
