I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
