do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
