I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
