So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize