She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
