Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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