I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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