Dual....:-)
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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