We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
