i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
