ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
