For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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