my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
