just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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