So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
