I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
