Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
