the room spins SO much faster in panama
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
my liver is dry heaving
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
