sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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