i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
