If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Randomize
