so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
