Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You can't special order awesome
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I need water and some morals
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
