ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
