I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
