I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
