I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
