so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
