Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
