IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
