I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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