u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
