Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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